Me to Me: “How can I possibly do that??? I don’t fit the “part” ….I’m not smart enough…I’m not confident enough…And I’m definitely not holy enough.”
I have insecurities. The fact is sometimes when I look in the mirror, all I see are the flaws with and in myself instead of seeing the beauty that God sees. The guilt of my past seems to plague me at times to the point where I don’t even want to ATTEMPT to try anything new…or let alone step out of my comfort zone. There is always this FEAR OF FAILING!
There’s that word again…fear. I’ve learned that fear and insecurity go hand in hand. I didn’t realize this whole concept until I was working out at the gym one day. As my mind was to racing, I asked God why wasn’t I farther along in life? Why did I go through the things I went through? Why do I keep holding on to past hurts and pains that I should have released 5 or 10 years ago? What if I fail AGAIN? As I stood up and looked in the mirror, all my eyes were fixed on were the white letters boldly printed on my planet fitness shirt; “BE FREE”.
So, at that moment full of emotion, I was like…“Whoa God… don’t do this to me right now.” But then I realized in that same moment, God was telling me to be free from everything I was thinking; every fear that I had that was literally holding me back from exercising the faith and strength that He had given me over two thousand years ago.
But isn’t that like our God? He’s so amazing that he looks past every fault, flaw and mistake and bring you into a place of freedom IN HIM!!!! Sometimes He will even interrupt you in the middle of an insecure moment just to say “BE FREE”. It reminded me of 1 Peter 5: 6-7 which says “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for He careth for you.”
Now I will be the first to admit, I hold onto things. Not really hoarding materialistic things, but hoarding emotions, thoughts, and memories. But isn’t that like most of us…. we hold onto to things so long that we do not notice that little by little it starts to skew and destroy not only our perception of other and situations around us, but of ourselves. But God is so gracious…He loves us so much, that He will bring us out of a place of chaos and confusion into a place of peace and understanding just to further remind you to not just BE FREE, but YOU ARE FREE. “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” – John 8:36